farlayuki

Minha Finalidade

Turbilhão teleológico incoercível,
Que força alguma inibitória acalma,
Levou-me o crânio e pôs-lhe dentro a palma
Dos que amam apreender o Inapreensível!

Predeterminação imprescriptível
Oriunda da infra-astral Substância calma
Plasmou, aparelhou, talhou minha alma
Para cantar de preferência o Horrível!

Na canonização emocionante,
Da dor humana, sou maior que Dante,
- A águia dos latifúndios florentinos!

Sistematizo, soluçando, o Inferno...
E trago em mim, num sincronismo eterno
A fórmula de todos os destinos!

(A. dos Anjos)

Yesterday i've celebrated my birthday with my friends, even though my breal birthday's today.
We went out to a pub and I was amazing!
Though I haven't drank too much (Like... I CAN'T drink too much), we had so much fun!
I feel a very lucky person because I have these amazing friends. Yesterday, I almost cried, because Spain and Romano came to me (while New Zealand, England,  and Netherlands were on the dance floor) and Romano said: G.! Let's have a toast!, and I was like, ,,R., I've drank my Kir!", he said: ,,Don't worry, here, toast w/ water", and I was like, ,,Okay. Kesese". Then, Spain raised his fancy glass (he ALWAYS choose the best drinks) and said: To our friendship. Coz EVERYTIME we were going to party like crazy, we'll be together.
So Romano added: To our TRUE friendship.
Then we toasted, and I was rather emotive, I must confess.
Yesterday it rained like it was the Appocalipse, but we had fun.
Romano's one of the funniest persons I know. He has the ability to make me laugh till I run out of air! He's the best!

Today, when I woke up I mean, when I WAS awakened, my mom said: Come, there's a iguana downstairs!
I was amazed, because I like iguanas and I really want to pet one when I'm leaving for Brasilia (I'm taking Dinah, and once there, I'll have the little Paco Jalapeño Chili Malagueto Juanito Ramirez y Gutierrez Motta, or Paco, for the intimate, huhuhu).
Well, the thing is, it WASN'T an iguana, but some other thin, hostile and mean lizard! It ran after me after my dad ,,swept" it way.
I screamed and closed the door after me. I like nature, i really like, but Nature THERE and I, here. Like, it's not normal for ,,wild" animals to enter our countryside house, specially a lizard! Maybe it wanted to eat Easter chocolats? huhuuh
Well, I remember when I was a little child and I went there, there was big, big, BIG grasshopper that wanted to live indoors. My cousing thought it was a toy, but no, was for real.
Also, when I used to hike w/ my cousins on the woods (or ride the bicycle), we were walking happily on the woods, and one of my cousing grab a stick and he didn't see, but there was a enormous hairy spider on it. My other cousin and I screamed like crazy, but our cousin only looked and it and threw the spider away, then he said: You two are such crybabies.
He was sooo macho!
Hahahahahha
My childhood was so fun! I did so many funny things, I played so much w/ my cousins and friends! We used to spend our entire vacations on the countryside, riding bicycle, riding horse, playing hide-and-seek through the woods, fishing (I NEVER cough a fish, sniff), running barefoot all around... yes, I had a very ,,wild" childhood! hahhahahahahha
Eating fruits direct from the tree, swimming on the river (or lake), believing in ghosts and weird sounds at night,... ayeeeee SOOOOOOO nice!
Sometimes we used to go to the beach (it's very close). We liked to catch the small coral fishes in our hands and release them. Build sand castles to kick them do sandballs war, ride the horse inside the water - literaly, ,,seahorse"!
It was soooooooo good.

Nowadays, progress has come to town and we're not able to do this anymore. Also, we've grown up, we have our own lives. Still, hopefully, we're very friends, and everytime we gather, we remind the good times, huhuhu.
Gosh... I'm so nostalgic! huhuhu

Boa Páscoa, pessoas lindas (Happy Easter, beautiful people)!!

Hope you ALL make a good use of the Holiday and STUDY. No travelling, no resting, no eating chocolate, but STUDY HARD!
hahuahauhauahuahaua

Awesome Kisses,

G.

Don't know if it's only me being pessimist (as the good prussian I am - in heart) or am I depressed, the thing is, today I'm feeling like I really don't care. Today I feel I could not exist anymore and it wouldn't be any different.
,,Cleaner" ways... Many, many, many ,,clean" ways.
Is it normal, Camus? Is it really normal to think about it? And what about thinking about it more often than usual?
I guess my mind's messed up.
Is it the easiest way?
Why do I tend to have some kind of thoughts?
,,You give me flowers of blood".
I'm so tired.
I'm so strange, so strange, so strange.
I make no sense. I don't want to make sense; I'm used.
Used.
I don't like red so much, i'd rather green. But red is so meaningful... I want red, I feel like red, but I also despise red.
Redrum, Redrum, Redrum,... Let it be, let go of me.
,,Qual é o sentimento profundo?"
I need you. I despise you. I abhor you.
Today I saw my future: there was no future to be seen.

,,Quando Ismália enlouqueceu,
Pôs-se na torre a sonhar...
Viu uma lua no céu,
Viu outra lua no mar.

No sonho em que se perdeu,
Banhou-se toda em luar...
Queria subir ao céu,
Queria descer ao mar...

E, no desvario seu,
Na torre pôs-se a cantar...
Estava perto do céu,
Estava longe do mar...

E como um anjo pendeu
As asas para voar...
Queria a lua do céu,
Queria a lua do mar...

As asas que Deus lhe deu
Ruflaram de par em par...
Sua alma subiu ao céu,
Seu corpo desceu ao mar..."

My name is Ismália, my name is Rosa, my name is Anjo, my name is forsaken.

Why do I still leave a rose on your grave?